It’s been a week and two days now! I thought about doing something to celebrate that the other day but I thought it would be a little, just a little dramatic. You’re a blossoming butterfly. The other day as I held you, you opened your eyes. Yes, both your eyes and looked into mine. I can tell you were trying to concentrate so hard to see this person; or maybe you were just staring at me :)……but it was one of the best miracles I’ve witnessed. I guess your little pupils are slowly adjusting to the light out here.
Your little fingers are the cutest little things I’ve seen. Really long too. When I put one of my fingers out to yours, I could feel you stretching them out to hold onto it. It’s magical. Almost the smallest yet most powerful movement I’ve ever felt. You know, sometimes, when I hold you, you make little body movements too and sounds. Almost like you were stretching out in the morning after waking up from a deep sleep. Your mommy and grandma said that during that time you’re dreaming about your experience in the womb. Do you believe that? Hmm….I don’t know. I mean, you know, adults tend to make things up. Too many theories. Right now you can’t tell me what whether that is true for sure but we’ll definitely have this conversation. Now, I know you probably won’t remember either but seeing as you’re gonna be really smart, we can do our research later right? I’m sure there are books written about babies and can either confirm or dispute mommy and grandma’s theory.
Speaking of which; I saw a book full of beautiful fairytale stories at this place I now like to go. (We’ll have a conversation about why later) So, I really wanted to get this big book and my mind quickly warmed up to the idea of reading to you one fairytale every night but also almost as immediately came to the realization that that would have to wait a few years. All the excitement went away then but tell you what; I’m gonna go back and still get the book. So while we wait for you to start to hear and speak so I can read to you; our fairytale book can wait with us. Also I just might start reading to you anyway. I mean, who says you can’t hear the stories now, right? We don’t know that. Just because you can’t speak just yet doesn’t give everyone the right to make up all these conclusions about what you can and can’t do, right?
You have the most peaceful sleeping face and posture. It has an immediate calming effect. Several times when I need some of that calm between my storms I stare at you as you sleep. The most beautiful thing I see lately. You know, in the morning before I leave for work, I have to look at or hold you; then know that the day is going to go just fine. It has kinda become my morning blessing. Same thing as before I go to bed.
You’re such a great baby mommy is so lucky. Unlike other many babies, you barely fuss or cry at night. Once you’re fed and changed, you’ll go back to your peaceful sleep. When you have a cousin some day I want him or her to be that cool, you know. Every mommy would want a baby like you. The other day still, you started to cry a little bit and I held, rocked you in my arms while singing Sheldon’s “Soft Kitty.” Guess what? You stopped crying! It worked! You have no idea how happy that made me. I feel like I am a great aunt already; you’ll soon agree. I’m excited to introduce you to Sheldon as soon as you can watch anything on TV. We’ll watch The Big Bang together and you’ll love it as much as I do.
I woke up thinking about you. Could not see you last night before I went to bed and yet you can’t imagine how much I needed that calming effect of yours. Sigh. I keep wanting to talk to you about things. Many things. I will just write these letters for when you can read them because I don’t want to just give up saying all the things I wanna say or wait when we can actually talk for me to have a conversation or tell you how blessed I feel for having you in my life now. Or how much happiness you’ve brought to all of us.
We’ll continue this conversation later.