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Edna Ninsiima

<p>Ardent Reader| Writer In My Own Right| Feminist| Communicator| Adventurer| Social Media Enthusiast| Satirist; Views expressed are mine.</p>

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Present Day Palm Sunday

March 20, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
31 Comments

On a donkey he came riding, his followers walking closely behind. The town went into a frenzy. Palm leaves were waved in excitement with energy so excessive you’d think they were heavy to carry. The people removed their clothes and lay them on the ground like a red carpet on which a VIP must walk onto. “The Messiah is here!” They shouted. This is the fairly accurate, at least according to the Bible, description of the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem.

Now, sitting here reading about this day again, I can’t help but wonder how it’d be like had it happened today. Another thought I fail to resist, as is with every scene in every book anyway, is a close contemporary comparison to the situation. Luckily for me today I don’t have to search my mind for long as it almost immediately brings me to the recent events in that glorious town whose setting I know too well.

A town so beautiful, peaceful and often enviably referred too as that town of two most delicious and highly nourishing foods. It is the Zion, I daresay. “Town of Peace” like Jerusalem is/was so admirable referred to. This town whose streets until then I’d never seen as crowded as they were. Sure, the town has over the years become busier, what with the rapid both population and economic growth. However, on that day of one man’s visit of the town, it suddenly looked like the entire population of the country was gathered here. The not-so-wide streets which I’m very familiar with seemed to be, even in near oblivion, silently suffocating beneath this mammoth crowd that now completely overshadowed them.

The man, visibly elated and overwhelmed, instead of on a colt, rode in his famous or infamous depending on how you look at it, automobile that some have argued; should it breathe its last, must be preserved in a museum as an important piece of the puzzle of our country’s history. The people were in place of palm leaves, waving fingers symbolic of peace. They instead of laying down their clothes, went into their farms and picked as gifts for him, their finest animals. This man who is on a road that a brilliant journalist-cum-author described to be “long, bumpy and often bloody,” and said that he had long began a war, “from which there is neither retreat nor surrender,” is the closest I’ve seen in comparison to the Messiah who decades and decades ago triumphantly walked or rather rode into Jerusalem.

Now, whether he is indeed our present day Messiah who might one day “save us all,” that I guess we shall find out……..but close enough, don’t you think?

Happy Palm Sunday!

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Travel. Adventure. Explore.

March 16, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
7 Comments

In the seclusion of the wilderness, I find time to reflect on my life: decisions, dreams, aspirations…all without a usual forced pause induced by an interruption from a car horn or somebody calling my name or having to alight from a taxi. Here, my deliberations are uninterrupted, only re-echoed by birds twittering and the crickets chirping.

From the loud whispers of the pristine waterfalls, I find peace of mind, my greatest fantasies are fulfilled, my hopes restored, my heart grows fonder of those that I love and my spirits are lifted high up above the sky.

While on the road, with the car window half open and the sight of landmarks; shadows in the wind whooshing past my ears and taking all my pain and worries away with it, a strong resilience wells up in my soul and in the moment, I’m ready to start over away from failed cloudy life attempts to my future sunny days.

When in hitherto unknown surroundings, I soak my whole being into the sights and sounds, I allow my soul explore and be be freed with gratitude for this uniqueness that I won’t find elsewhere.

While on adventure, my strength and will I allow to be tested in action, my body I allow to ache and my muscles to be strained, but with every step and with each camera click, I conquer nonetheless…….

http://beingedna.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/PhotoGrid_Video_1458136876739.mp4

……and with every adventure conquered, a bucket list item is ticked off and in the place of a bad part of my life story, a beautiful memory is written.

 

Come with me.

 

“The gladdest moment in human life, me thinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton

 

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GENDER STEREOTYPES: The Female Chapter

March 10, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
35 Comments

My friends and I left one shindig for another the other weekend, party shenanigans determined to give our friend a befitting send off. In the car, a conversation came up: my kick-ass, ‘learning friend’ Tricia, was attending a gender class where the professor happened to bring up the masturbation topic and actually encourage the ladies, with a small tutorial even, to be free to do it. In Tricia’s words; “You should have seen people’s disgusted looks. You’d tell they were thinking, how can she say that? So out of curiosity I asked: who looked disgusted most; the girls or the boys? To which she replied: the boys. Which I found rather ironic considering many males during conversations on and off social media are always happy to announce the other uses of lotion that are not skin moisturization to which they’ve for long taken a liking. Yeah, you see where I’m going with this, right? Now, whereas if there was a self-pleasuring competition in which I was up against a boy I’d gladly let them win, you see how the guys in Tricia’s class despite many of them having taken to the habit, felt it “not fit” for the girls to partake in. Why? You tell me.

 

I will give you another instance that you might be even more familiar with. The infamous response to Winnie Byanyima’s tweet to which she replied with the phrase of the UOT twitter year, “Keep Quiet.” You see, as you might remember: late last year when a certain city socialite was physically abused by her boyfriend who she soon after the story broke took back by the way, (poor thing, I feel bad for her) many males, some on the Internet  others I personally knew then, were quick to dismiss her claims and the entire case citing the a-relationship-is-between-two-people-and-under-no-circumstance-should-a-third-party-attempt-to-get-involved argument and enjoyed rubbishing everyone who had as much as condemned the injustice which had befallen this woman. Fast forward, barely 2 months later, a social media nobody mastered all the “balls” he could from the unimportant fact that he wore trousers to tell the Director of Oxfam, an International community-based organization seeking solutions for poverty and Injustices in over 94 countries worldwide, what her role is as a partner. Luckily for them, no one dared to be against Winnie this time, at least not publicly (not that I’d like that any better) because well:

1. Feminists would “jump on it,” like UOT like to put it in an attempt to perhaps make us feel bad or ashamed for bringing some sense to vapid, irresponsibly permissive use of the internet. To which I say my friend, we shall not stand for nonsense. So you might as well when you post nonsense, sit tight and wait for us to “jump on it.”

2.You don’t come at Winnie with bullshit, that we’ve already established.
3. Winnie is a woman they perhaps are somewhat forced to respect her by virtue of her achievements. Still I wonder, did this man before he thought to quote that tweet perhaps know not to, as an obvious 3rd party, get involved in matters of two people in a relationship?

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A couple of months ago during a conversation I regret ever having, a man said to me with a straight face, “You try so hard to be a boy.” Now let’s face it, if this claim holds even the tiniest drop of water (which it doesn’t) then I’m miserably failing because not to brag but neither my appearance, nor body form in anyway suggests attempts to belong to the male species. Back to the matter: this man made the claim based on judgment of what he referred to as “acting tough” and yet “deep inside you have feelings and emotions.” Give me a fucking break! (no, I’m not going to apologize for use of that language in this particular case) Whether you acknowledge it or not, masculinity has for decades and decades been built on worst case fragility. For anybody to insinuate that my alleged masking of emotions is an an attempt to be a boy, even when the comment was made in glorification of a man’s supposed superiority over a woman, it again ironically exposes the weaknesses in patriarchy. Because guess what, like the example in the first part of this blog post (The Male Chapter) and as Chimamanda expressly puts it in her, “We Should All Be Feminists,” ” We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian(Ugandan)-speak—a hard man.”

 

In an adult world so unpredictable, you and I will agree that there are times you just want to at the end of a day, walk into a bar and have a hard drink by yourself in a bid to get your thoughts in order. In fact, many men would rather go to the bar and drown in alcohol that pick up the phone to speak to someone about their hard times. Which choice by the way is applauded with shallow a-man-must-deal-with-his-issues-alone arguments, “like a real man does,” they usually add. Shallow because I do not consider an argument to push any human being into possible alcoholism over the option of letting out their emotions, carefully thought out. Unfortunately many go for it. Men go to bars and have drinks on their own in peace: but the minute a woman walks into the bar alone to have a drink then she must be “lonely.” That some men would not think that maybe the woman too is dealing with their issues and would like to do it alone like they prefer to do, is a sad stereotype. Which is why like I’ve said before, I don’t want anyone to ever walk up to me with that insinuation or so help me God. I have many people to go to and want to be with when I’m lonely and strangers in a bar aren’t some of those.

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On promiscuity and number of partners each gender is “supposed” to have; we’ve heard all the slut-shaming of women for the number of partners they’ve had and yet applauding men for being “players” and “hitting it.” The longer the list of the number of girls he has hit, the more applause he gets. If he has a “side dish” then he’s a real man but when she has a side kick, she’s a whore. Do I encourage promiscuity, absolutely not. In fact I consider it a weakness of character. However, for a father and husband, future or present to be applauded for this weakness is  a recipe for disaster. Even more ridiculous is saying that it is okay for one but forbidden to the other. To this argument I always add especially to the men, be very careful what you encourage. Sooner or later you will have a daughter living in this hell that you helped create; and when they fall victim to the devils that you helped mold and then, you might not find much amusement in it.

 

It is 2016 people. Both men and women must unlearn these deep-rooted stereotypes. In fact,  don’t be caught making an argument as mindless as, “Things have always been that way and they can’t change.” You’re always finding fault with the regime and saying how tired you’re of hearing the 1986 story and that change will and must come; now do you think it’s any easier having to hear the “It has always been that way” story in response to wanting change in how women are treated? The answer my friend, is deep in your heart.

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CHAINED

March 1, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
32 Comments

When chains are replaced with virtual mouth gags

and whips with deprivation of social interactions.

 

When in the place of cargo, is a leper economy aggravated by mobile transfer service shut downs

and in that of white aristocratic masters, are delusional power gripping leaders masquerading as democrats.

 

When the channels through which contemporary songs of freedom are sung have been curtailed

and the composers browbeaten and incarcerated without or on baseless charges.

 

When in the place of scars and wounds from whips are pained hearts and souls withered from suppressed internal battles and frustrations

then my friends, we’re in bondage. Slavery never left, its appearance just got better.

 

When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.
― Nelson Mandela

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BATTLE

February 15, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
32 Comments

Friends and family. Journos and photogs. Known enemies and spies. Curious spectators. Gun yielding men in camouflage planted at every corner of the place. Anxiety and anguish. Unease. Should one make a wrong move, say a wrong word; who knows what might be explosively propelled through these metal tubes. The room inside is engulfed with fear and anger the combination of which results into a battle of emotions. The latter seems to be taking first place. It is the safer emotion after all. But for how long can fear win? We’ll see.

Silence.

Then an outbreak of whispers for a moment and yet you can’t tell from where they come. Everybody’s mouth seems closed. Still, you hear the whispers. Silence again. This time it’s so loud you can hear the heartbeats of the next three people to your right. At the back, something drops loudly on the floor. All eyes in the perfect unison of a rehearsed stage play scene, turn towards the back. Before you know it, the enormous double doors to the sacred chambers fly open. Eyes with the same unison with which they turned to the back turn to the front now. Fast and furious, the man with a pristinely white hat and black robes emerges. The clerk commands all in those words which he has said for years. Bearer of the verdict takes seat and the rest follow suit. “Bearer of the verdict” – fancy it must be. The role is undeniably a pompous one. Comes with an importance which even a meek and gentle holier-than-thou servant of the Lord and not-about-these-worldly-things man would secretly desire. Today however, not so much. In his mind he battles with a demon that came to life when he accepted to hear this dispute which amongst other things,  had quickly turned from the sublime to the ridiculous…

Show time.

In the dock is a man. His face tells a story of years of indescribable emotional, psychological and physical pain. Exhaustion from inhalation of that air like fluid whose inhalation brought not only major discomfort to the eyes but also significant harm to the respiratory system. The lines on his cheeks and forehead are a mark of frustration over the years. A constant reminder of humiliation, torture and oppression. He manages a stiff reassuring smile. It gives the people for whom he relentlessly goes to battle with Goliath hope. It’s consolatory, but it’s just that – a mere consolation because when you look deep into those windows to his soul, contrary to amusement that a smile is meant to portray; you find pain, years spent at war which he will never recover and worn out strength. However, the will seems intact. Guess that’s why he chooses to go back to battle.

It has only just began.

Even the darkest hour has only 60 minutes.
-Morris Mandel

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The Ultimate “Ninja Warrior” Experience at A Lakeside Adventure Park

February 10, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
45 Comments

In the obscurity of a little, still unknown-to-me village in Mukono district, Uganda about 7.5 km off the infamous Mukono-Katosi road, Lakeside Adventure Park is your ultimate literal definition of the “away” in “getaway.”  The road to- is characteristic of stone gavel, turns and corners arousing anxiety of driving to an unknown destination; but the murram road will eventually lead you home. The atmosphere on arrival is typical of a lakeside setting; the lush green plants and trees. The small white stones decorated on either side of the walkways in single file, the exhilarating sound of waves lightly splashing onto the shore – and as you walk further into the premises, the sight of a water body; the glorious Nalubaale which John Speke named after Queen Victoria.20160131_141348

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Just before you get to the lake though is where the real magic lies. It’s the high walls covered with footholds that look nothing bigger than the palm of the hand. One wonders how these are supposed to hold an adult’s foot as they advance higher and higher all the way to the top. It’s the string of short planks of wood 4 meters off the ground that seem to go on and on, held together by small ropes. These onto which one is to walk as they cling onto safety by two other rope lines with only a not-so-constant reminder of a life insurance from the anchor hooks fastened to their waists. It’s the thick ropes fastened into a spiderweb and leading to a zip line which on whose sight you decide there and then that you must do this course and do it to the end too because only then would you be able to zip line: another crucial point to note, you can not turn back.20160131_143046

It is then, with the adventure genes in me energized and the adrenaline rising, that I knew that to leave this park without taking on one rope climbing course challenge would be not only an act of cowardice, but a betrayal to all adventurers too. The guide’s words sounded precautionary and at the same time re-assuring. “You have to ensure for your safety that the hooks are hung on the rope on opposite sides for your safety…” Then as you climb up, “Many people have done this, it takes just minutes.” At the beginning it was pretty smooth; so much so that I thought to myself, for someone that has conquered the great Tororo Rocks, this is a joke. So I went through the first hurdle and the second one, jumped into the green camouflage hunting-like tent through which I walked with a swagger that only a certain good Dr. knows too well, proceeded onto the big log and there after the pulley onto which you’re to sit and in tug-of-war style only this time while moving forward, help yourself to the other side.2016-02-10 11.09.24IMG-20160201-WA0041IMG-20160201-WA0047 (1)

Then all hell broke loose. As soon as I stepped on the first log of the 4 nailed together in a T-bar each, it swung from one end to another slowly at first, then faster at a pendulum bob pace. It was almost like one of those Ninja Warrior episodes when you watch a participant in their last desperate attempts to keep on course before an inevitable fall. The muscles in my big legs were strained to the level of giving way: my arms felt like I was carrying a 20 kgs dumbbells in each hand and I could feel blisters coming on. The panic was unmistakable. Between, in all of this, the guide shouting, “keep walking” from meters below and my other 2 major spectators looking at me hopefully, the pressure was on. There was no way I was going to give up and hang in the air by an anchor around my waist and two hooks like a failure. The ninjaness in me agreed. So I took the gamble with my already seemingly failing legs and moved to the next three without as much as a breathing break. Before I knew it, I was standing at the next pit stop. With hand blisters and shaking legs but with one thought in mind; that I’d conquered.

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The next challenges, a line of wooden crisscrossed bars and other planks were pretty much a walk in the park. The spiderweb ropes led me to the zip line and voila! I had done it! Another adventure book closed. My adrenaline fed and my confidence to tackle other challenges elevated. Between me and you, from a rope climbing course you’ll also learn or boost a few soft skills. For example, I for a fact can tell you that my listening skills, patience and determination were all put to the test. The result of these tests I’ve just retold. Can you hold your own when your soft skills are put to the test? There’s only one way to find out.

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Screening Is Painless.

February 4, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
361 Comments

I was navigating content online and realized it’s WORLD CANCER DAY. Didn’t know until today, did you? Well being a day dedicated to getting the world thinking and taking action against cancer;  I thought I’d pen down my thoughts and experience as contribution to the awareness cause.  Many a time we look at these campaigns and the charities and victims asking for help and well, sympathize with them, type a “sorry,” create the “Help*Insert name*” hash tags, many of us go ahead to offer the help we can and thousands of us have showed up each year for Rotary’s Cancer Runs. Great. All these are noble things to do and it’s comforting, reserves a little hope for humanity.

However, we forget the one thing that we should have done a long time ago and must keep doing. The screening. Last year late October while I alighted a Kigali-Kampala bus from a great Rotaract experience in the 250, I felt a heaviness in my right breast. Almost like when you have 2 shirt pockets and one is laden with keys and coins and ID while the other is empty. (The gentlemen especially relate) I thought well, fatigue, my body needs rest..and brushed it off, went about my normal business…it was all great except for a “hangover” from an awesome trip till when I woke up the next day, I had excruciating pain and a swelling. Then is when I thought my life had come to a halt. It is true what they say that you don’t really know the magnitude of a situation until you’re experiencing it first hand. I panicked and yet I had to keep it together and not go completely crazy if not from this piercing pain, then from the gazillion thoughts in my head. I had to keep a straight face, say good morning to everyone when I got out of my room, sit in the car with my dad and laugh at his jokes (they’re really funny by the way) because it was one of those days when I hitch a ride with him to town but couldn’t tell him anything yet. Yep, don’t know why either…I guess I didn’t want to worry him just yet. I had to get to work, act normal and take care of things because my boss was not around and was counting on me to “handle things” here. So yeah, pain, a maze of thoughts going through my mind and not a soul knew. Eventually I spoke to Joanne in the evening while we left town for home (she has a solution for or she is the solution to everything that girl) So even for this she did have one. She set up a physical check appointment for the next day and went with me to it the next day until it was done. The lady after checking said she had to refer me to another more-specialized-to-handle-such-cases doctor in Mengo Hospital. She kept saying to not worry and “it’s going to be ok,” “most likely nothing” but you and I know at that point you don’t believe any of that pep talk. In your head, your life is doomed. Gone. The beginning of the end.

It is that night that I made the reveal to my parents. They said it would be okay in my face but when I passed by their room as I went to bed I heard them talking in muffled voices. Ps. I was not eavesdropping but come on: they couldn’t fool me. I thought to myself, I know y’all are freaking out too. Jheez! I can’t tell you how many things I told God that night; proper detailed conversation; and those who know me know that I can go on and on if I decide to. Been labeled story teller by someone I know…so yes. My dreams, my plans, my family…we spoke about everything. How if this was what I thought it was my purpose would have to be stalled or not completed at all. Why it had to be me. What my faith was being tested for. I barely slept as you might imagine.

The good…..*scratch that* great news is my appointment with Doctor Andrew of Mengo Hospital went well and I did not/do not have breast cancer but just a swelling that had to be cleared by a minor surgery. Even greater news is that the surgery went well and right now the incision that was made is unrecognizable; bless you Dr! So I was lucky. Or I’m blessed. Everything went well, it’s a story that turned out with a fairy-tale ending: but in the moments when it was still unknown to me what exactly was wrong with my breast, I thought about all the times I sympathized with patients and gave contributions. I thought about the numerous free breast cancer screening drives that I’d, some of them coordinated. The times I was on the Cancer Run publicity team and how many times I tweeted with hashtags that people should go get screened…and yet never once before had I myself gone myself to get it done. I don’t know what it is that keeps us from getting some crucial things such as these done….”laziness”….we don’t “find time” we’re “too busy” but I know one thing;  had I gone for a breast cancer screening earlier, if it had turned out that I had there cancer cells I would have known earlier and I would have probably been saved. Now at a later point when I had pain and swelling; I don’t know. Probably would have been a different story. A tragic one. Ladies and gentlemen, go get cancer screening now and while at it; tell a friend to tell a friend and another friend. We can do this.

Stay blessed!

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LETTER TO MY NEWBORN NEPHEW.

January 30, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
814 Comments

Jayden,

It’s been a week and two days now! I thought about doing something to celebrate that the other day but I thought it would be a little, just a little dramatic. You’re a blossoming butterfly. The other day as I held you, you opened your eyes. Yes, both your eyes and looked into mine. I can tell you were trying to concentrate so hard to see this person; or maybe you were just staring at me :)……but it was one of the best miracles I’ve witnessed. I guess your little pupils are slowly adjusting to the light out here.

Your little fingers are the cutest little things I’ve seen. Really long too. When I put one of my fingers out to yours, I could feel you stretching them out to hold onto it. It’s magical. Almost the smallest yet most powerful movement I’ve ever felt. You know, sometimes, when I hold you, you make little body movements too and sounds. Almost like you were stretching out in the morning after waking up from a deep sleep. Your mommy and grandma said that during that time you’re dreaming about your experience in the womb. Do you believe that? Hmm….I don’t know. I mean, you know, adults tend to make things up. Too many theories. Right now you can’t tell me what whether that is true for sure but we’ll definitely have this conversation. Now, I know you probably won’t remember either but seeing as you’re gonna be really smart, we can do our research later right? I’m sure there are books written about babies and can either confirm or dispute mommy and grandma’s theory.

Speaking of which; I saw a book full of beautiful fairytale stories at this place I now like to go. (We’ll have a conversation about why later) So, I really wanted to get this big book and my mind quickly warmed up to the idea of reading to you one fairytale every night but also almost as immediately came to the realization that that would have to wait a few years. All the excitement went away then but tell you what; I’m gonna go back and still get the book. So while we wait for you to start to hear and speak so I can read to you; our fairytale book can wait with us. Also I just might start reading to you anyway. I mean, who says you can’t hear the stories now, right? We don’t know that. Just because you can’t speak just yet doesn’t give everyone the right to make up all these conclusions about what you can and can’t do, right?

You have the most peaceful sleeping face and posture. It has an immediate calming effect. Several times when I need some of that calm between my storms I stare at you as you sleep. The most beautiful thing I see lately. You know,  in the morning before I leave for work,  I have to look at or hold you; then know that the day is going to go just fine. It has kinda become my morning blessing. Same thing as before I go to bed.

You’re such a great baby mommy is so lucky. Unlike other many babies, you barely fuss or cry at night. Once you’re fed and changed,  you’ll go back to your peaceful sleep. When you have a cousin some day I want him or her to be that cool, you know. Every mommy would want a baby like you. The other day still, you started to cry a little bit and I held, rocked you in my arms while singing Sheldon’s “Soft Kitty.” Guess what? You stopped crying! It worked! You have no idea how happy that made me. I feel like I am a great aunt already; you’ll soon agree. I’m excited to introduce you to Sheldon as soon as you can watch anything on TV. We’ll watch The Big Bang together and you’ll love it as much as I do.

I woke up thinking about you. Could not see you last night before I went to bed and yet you can’t imagine how much I needed that calming effect of yours. Sigh. I keep wanting to talk to you about things. Many things. I will just write these letters for when you can read them because I don’t want to just give up saying all the things I wanna say or wait when we can actually talk for me to have a conversation or tell you how blessed I feel for having you in my life now. Or how much happiness you’ve brought to all of us.

We’ll continue this conversation later.

With love,

Auntie Edna.

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GONE.

January 7, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
154 Comments

Gone

In a far, far away town

In a drastic turn of events

A man once the hunter

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NGAMBA ISLAND: Apes, Birds & Serenity

December 17, 2015
Edna Ninsiima
755 Comments

“Kalema and Umutama, from Burundi are the current hopefuls since the Alpha male died. Mawa on the other hand wants to forcefully take over power. The troop refuse to let him because they want a peaceful transition of power. Asega, Mawa’s bodyguard and right hand man is constantly intimidating the rest on Mawa’s behalf…………….” As the tour guide at the sanctuary tells this evocative story of the great apes during the tour briefing, it’s hard to miss the remarkable resemblance between their situation and that of the African political scene over the years. Even harder to overlook are the similar traits apes and humans possess as we already know.
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About me

Edna Ninsiima

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Avid Reader| Writer In My Own Right| Feminist| Communicator| Adventurer| Satirist; Views expressed are mine.

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