Author

Edna Ninsiima

<p>Ardent Reader| Writer In My Own Right| Feminist| Communicator| Adventurer| Social Media Enthusiast| Satirist; Views expressed are mine.</p>

CHAINED

March 1, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
32 Comments

When chains are replaced with virtual mouth gags

and whips with deprivation of social interactions.

 

When in the place of cargo, is a leper economy aggravated by mobile transfer service shut downs

and in that of white aristocratic masters, are delusional power gripping leaders masquerading as democrats.

 

When the channels through which contemporary songs of freedom are sung have been curtailed

and the composers browbeaten and incarcerated without or on baseless charges.

 

When in the place of scars and wounds from whips are pained hearts and souls withered from suppressed internal battles and frustrations

then my friends, we’re in bondage. Slavery never left, its appearance just got better.

 

When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.
― Nelson Mandela

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BATTLE

February 15, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
32 Comments

Friends and family. Journos and photogs. Known enemies and spies. Curious spectators. Gun yielding men in camouflage planted at every corner of the place. Anxiety and anguish. Unease. Should one make a wrong move, say a wrong word; who knows what might be explosively propelled through these metal tubes. The room inside is engulfed with fear and anger the combination of which results into a battle of emotions. The latter seems to be taking first place. It is the safer emotion after all. But for how long can fear win? We’ll see.

Silence.

Then an outbreak of whispers for a moment and yet you can’t tell from where they come. Everybody’s mouth seems closed. Still, you hear the whispers. Silence again. This time it’s so loud you can hear the heartbeats of the next three people to your right. At the back, something drops loudly on the floor. All eyes in the perfect unison of a rehearsed stage play scene, turn towards the back. Before you know it, the enormous double doors to the sacred chambers fly open. Eyes with the same unison with which they turned to the back turn to the front now. Fast and furious, the man with a pristinely white hat and black robes emerges. The clerk commands all in those words which he has said for years. Bearer of the verdict takes seat and the rest follow suit. “Bearer of the verdict” – fancy it must be. The role is undeniably a pompous one. Comes with an importance which even a meek and gentle holier-than-thou servant of the Lord and not-about-these-worldly-things man would secretly desire. Today however, not so much. In his mind he battles with a demon that came to life when he accepted to hear this dispute which amongst other things,  had quickly turned from the sublime to the ridiculous…

Show time.

In the dock is a man. His face tells a story of years of indescribable emotional, psychological and physical pain. Exhaustion from inhalation of that air like fluid whose inhalation brought not only major discomfort to the eyes but also significant harm to the respiratory system. The lines on his cheeks and forehead are a mark of frustration over the years. A constant reminder of humiliation, torture and oppression. He manages a stiff reassuring smile. It gives the people for whom he relentlessly goes to battle with Goliath hope. It’s consolatory, but it’s just that – a mere consolation because when you look deep into those windows to his soul, contrary to amusement that a smile is meant to portray; you find pain, years spent at war which he will never recover and worn out strength. However, the will seems intact. Guess that’s why he chooses to go back to battle.

It has only just began.

Even the darkest hour has only 60 minutes.
-Morris Mandel

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The Ultimate “Ninja Warrior” Experience at A Lakeside Adventure Park

February 10, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
45 Comments

In the obscurity of a little, still unknown-to-me village in Mukono district, Uganda about 7.5 km off the infamous Mukono-Katosi road, Lakeside Adventure Park is your ultimate literal definition of the “away” in “getaway.”  The road to- is characteristic of stone gavel, turns and corners arousing anxiety of driving to an unknown destination; but the murram road will eventually lead you home. The atmosphere on arrival is typical of a lakeside setting; the lush green plants and trees. The small white stones decorated on either side of the walkways in single file, the exhilarating sound of waves lightly splashing onto the shore – and as you walk further into the premises, the sight of a water body; the glorious Nalubaale which John Speke named after Queen Victoria.20160131_141348

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Just before you get to the lake though is where the real magic lies. It’s the high walls covered with footholds that look nothing bigger than the palm of the hand. One wonders how these are supposed to hold an adult’s foot as they advance higher and higher all the way to the top. It’s the string of short planks of wood 4 meters off the ground that seem to go on and on, held together by small ropes. These onto which one is to walk as they cling onto safety by two other rope lines with only a not-so-constant reminder of a life insurance from the anchor hooks fastened to their waists. It’s the thick ropes fastened into a spiderweb and leading to a zip line which on whose sight you decide there and then that you must do this course and do it to the end too because only then would you be able to zip line: another crucial point to note, you can not turn back.20160131_143046

It is then, with the adventure genes in me energized and the adrenaline rising, that I knew that to leave this park without taking on one rope climbing course challenge would be not only an act of cowardice, but a betrayal to all adventurers too. The guide’s words sounded precautionary and at the same time re-assuring. “You have to ensure for your safety that the hooks are hung on the rope on opposite sides for your safety…” Then as you climb up, “Many people have done this, it takes just minutes.” At the beginning it was pretty smooth; so much so that I thought to myself, for someone that has conquered the great Tororo Rocks, this is a joke. So I went through the first hurdle and the second one, jumped into the green camouflage hunting-like tent through which I walked with a swagger that only a certain good Dr. knows too well, proceeded onto the big log and there after the pulley onto which you’re to sit and in tug-of-war style only this time while moving forward, help yourself to the other side.2016-02-10 11.09.24IMG-20160201-WA0041IMG-20160201-WA0047 (1)

Then all hell broke loose. As soon as I stepped on the first log of the 4 nailed together in a T-bar each, it swung from one end to another slowly at first, then faster at a pendulum bob pace. It was almost like one of those Ninja Warrior episodes when you watch a participant in their last desperate attempts to keep on course before an inevitable fall. The muscles in my big legs were strained to the level of giving way: my arms felt like I was carrying a 20 kgs dumbbells in each hand and I could feel blisters coming on. The panic was unmistakable. Between, in all of this, the guide shouting, “keep walking” from meters below and my other 2 major spectators looking at me hopefully, the pressure was on. There was no way I was going to give up and hang in the air by an anchor around my waist and two hooks like a failure. The ninjaness in me agreed. So I took the gamble with my already seemingly failing legs and moved to the next three without as much as a breathing break. Before I knew it, I was standing at the next pit stop. With hand blisters and shaking legs but with one thought in mind; that I’d conquered.

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The next challenges, a line of wooden crisscrossed bars and other planks were pretty much a walk in the park. The spiderweb ropes led me to the zip line and voila! I had done it! Another adventure book closed. My adrenaline fed and my confidence to tackle other challenges elevated. Between me and you, from a rope climbing course you’ll also learn or boost a few soft skills. For example, I for a fact can tell you that my listening skills, patience and determination were all put to the test. The result of these tests I’ve just retold. Can you hold your own when your soft skills are put to the test? There’s only one way to find out.

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Screening Is Painless.

February 4, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
361 Comments

I was navigating content online and realized it’s WORLD CANCER DAY. Didn’t know until today, did you? Well being a day dedicated to getting the world thinking and taking action against cancer;  I thought I’d pen down my thoughts and experience as contribution to the awareness cause.  Many a time we look at these campaigns and the charities and victims asking for help and well, sympathize with them, type a “sorry,” create the “Help*Insert name*” hash tags, many of us go ahead to offer the help we can and thousands of us have showed up each year for Rotary’s Cancer Runs. Great. All these are noble things to do and it’s comforting, reserves a little hope for humanity.

However, we forget the one thing that we should have done a long time ago and must keep doing. The screening. Last year late October while I alighted a Kigali-Kampala bus from a great Rotaract experience in the 250, I felt a heaviness in my right breast. Almost like when you have 2 shirt pockets and one is laden with keys and coins and ID while the other is empty. (The gentlemen especially relate) I thought well, fatigue, my body needs rest..and brushed it off, went about my normal business…it was all great except for a “hangover” from an awesome trip till when I woke up the next day, I had excruciating pain and a swelling. Then is when I thought my life had come to a halt. It is true what they say that you don’t really know the magnitude of a situation until you’re experiencing it first hand. I panicked and yet I had to keep it together and not go completely crazy if not from this piercing pain, then from the gazillion thoughts in my head. I had to keep a straight face, say good morning to everyone when I got out of my room, sit in the car with my dad and laugh at his jokes (they’re really funny by the way) because it was one of those days when I hitch a ride with him to town but couldn’t tell him anything yet. Yep, don’t know why either…I guess I didn’t want to worry him just yet. I had to get to work, act normal and take care of things because my boss was not around and was counting on me to “handle things” here. So yeah, pain, a maze of thoughts going through my mind and not a soul knew. Eventually I spoke to Joanne in the evening while we left town for home (she has a solution for or she is the solution to everything that girl) So even for this she did have one. She set up a physical check appointment for the next day and went with me to it the next day until it was done. The lady after checking said she had to refer me to another more-specialized-to-handle-such-cases doctor in Mengo Hospital. She kept saying to not worry and “it’s going to be ok,” “most likely nothing” but you and I know at that point you don’t believe any of that pep talk. In your head, your life is doomed. Gone. The beginning of the end.

It is that night that I made the reveal to my parents. They said it would be okay in my face but when I passed by their room as I went to bed I heard them talking in muffled voices. Ps. I was not eavesdropping but come on: they couldn’t fool me. I thought to myself, I know y’all are freaking out too. Jheez! I can’t tell you how many things I told God that night; proper detailed conversation; and those who know me know that I can go on and on if I decide to. Been labeled story teller by someone I know…so yes. My dreams, my plans, my family…we spoke about everything. How if this was what I thought it was my purpose would have to be stalled or not completed at all. Why it had to be me. What my faith was being tested for. I barely slept as you might imagine.

The good…..*scratch that* great news is my appointment with Doctor Andrew of Mengo Hospital went well and I did not/do not have breast cancer but just a swelling that had to be cleared by a minor surgery. Even greater news is that the surgery went well and right now the incision that was made is unrecognizable; bless you Dr! So I was lucky. Or I’m blessed. Everything went well, it’s a story that turned out with a fairy-tale ending: but in the moments when it was still unknown to me what exactly was wrong with my breast, I thought about all the times I sympathized with patients and gave contributions. I thought about the numerous free breast cancer screening drives that I’d, some of them coordinated. The times I was on the Cancer Run publicity team and how many times I tweeted with hashtags that people should go get screened…and yet never once before had I myself gone myself to get it done. I don’t know what it is that keeps us from getting some crucial things such as these done….”laziness”….we don’t “find time” we’re “too busy” but I know one thing;  had I gone for a breast cancer screening earlier, if it had turned out that I had there cancer cells I would have known earlier and I would have probably been saved. Now at a later point when I had pain and swelling; I don’t know. Probably would have been a different story. A tragic one. Ladies and gentlemen, go get cancer screening now and while at it; tell a friend to tell a friend and another friend. We can do this.

Stay blessed!

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LETTER TO MY NEWBORN NEPHEW.

January 30, 2016
Edna Ninsiima
814 Comments

Jayden,

It’s been a week and two days now! I thought about doing something to celebrate that the other day but I thought it would be a little, just a little dramatic. You’re a blossoming butterfly. The other day as I held you, you opened your eyes. Yes, both your eyes and looked into mine. I can tell you were trying to concentrate so hard to see this person; or maybe you were just staring at me :)……but it was one of the best miracles I’ve witnessed. I guess your little pupils are slowly adjusting to the light out here.

Your little fingers are the cutest little things I’ve seen. Really long too. When I put one of my fingers out to yours, I could feel you stretching them out to hold onto it. It’s magical. Almost the smallest yet most powerful movement I’ve ever felt. You know, sometimes, when I hold you, you make little body movements too and sounds. Almost like you were stretching out in the morning after waking up from a deep sleep. Your mommy and grandma said that during that time you’re dreaming about your experience in the womb. Do you believe that? Hmm….I don’t know. I mean, you know, adults tend to make things up. Too many theories. Right now you can’t tell me what whether that is true for sure but we’ll definitely have this conversation. Now, I know you probably won’t remember either but seeing as you’re gonna be really smart, we can do our research later right? I’m sure there are books written about babies and can either confirm or dispute mommy and grandma’s theory.

Speaking of which; I saw a book full of beautiful fairytale stories at this place I now like to go. (We’ll have a conversation about why later) So, I really wanted to get this big book and my mind quickly warmed up to the idea of reading to you one fairytale every night but also almost as immediately came to the realization that that would have to wait a few years. All the excitement went away then but tell you what; I’m gonna go back and still get the book. So while we wait for you to start to hear and speak so I can read to you; our fairytale book can wait with us. Also I just might start reading to you anyway. I mean, who says you can’t hear the stories now, right? We don’t know that. Just because you can’t speak just yet doesn’t give everyone the right to make up all these conclusions about what you can and can’t do, right?

You have the most peaceful sleeping face and posture. It has an immediate calming effect. Several times when I need some of that calm between my storms I stare at you as you sleep. The most beautiful thing I see lately. You know,  in the morning before I leave for work,  I have to look at or hold you; then know that the day is going to go just fine. It has kinda become my morning blessing. Same thing as before I go to bed.

You’re such a great baby mommy is so lucky. Unlike other many babies, you barely fuss or cry at night. Once you’re fed and changed,  you’ll go back to your peaceful sleep. When you have a cousin some day I want him or her to be that cool, you know. Every mommy would want a baby like you. The other day still, you started to cry a little bit and I held, rocked you in my arms while singing Sheldon’s “Soft Kitty.” Guess what? You stopped crying! It worked! You have no idea how happy that made me. I feel like I am a great aunt already; you’ll soon agree. I’m excited to introduce you to Sheldon as soon as you can watch anything on TV. We’ll watch The Big Bang together and you’ll love it as much as I do.

I woke up thinking about you. Could not see you last night before I went to bed and yet you can’t imagine how much I needed that calming effect of yours. Sigh. I keep wanting to talk to you about things. Many things. I will just write these letters for when you can read them because I don’t want to just give up saying all the things I wanna say or wait when we can actually talk for me to have a conversation or tell you how blessed I feel for having you in my life now. Or how much happiness you’ve brought to all of us.

We’ll continue this conversation later.

With love,

Auntie Edna.

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NGAMBA ISLAND: Apes, Birds & Serenity

December 17, 2015
Edna Ninsiima
755 Comments

“Kalema and Umutama, from Burundi are the current hopefuls since the Alpha male died. Mawa on the other hand wants to forcefully take over power. The troop refuse to let him because they want a peaceful transition of power. Asega, Mawa’s bodyguard and right hand man is constantly intimidating the rest on Mawa’s behalf…………….” As the tour guide at the sanctuary tells this evocative story of the great apes during the tour briefing, it’s hard to miss the remarkable resemblance between their situation and that of the African political scene over the years. Even harder to overlook are the similar traits apes and humans possess as we already know.
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MARVELS OF FORT PORTAL – Telling The Story.

November 19, 2015
Edna Ninsiima
13 Comments

When the Koi Koi Ug team decided that we’d go to Fort Portal, I knew I was in for a treat. A colonial town, one of the top tourist destinations of the country that is also home to Tooro Kingdom, will definitely be something to write home about I thought. But even this prior awareness had not prepared me enough for what I was about experience. This is an account of half my experience, not because the other half was not worthwhile, because believe me it was, only because these places stood out for me. They were the marvels.

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Open Letter To Stecia Mayanja.

October 29, 2015
Edna Ninsiima
432 Comments

Dear Stecia,

I may not be a fan of you or your music, but i recognize your efforts in the music industry. I commend them. However i shall not be silent when you misuse your status. To that effect, in my capacity both as a Ugandan with a keen interest in brand advertising and a not-so-fresh graduate who has been through quite a number of branding classes and on a few projects, i have taken it upon myself to address your ridiculous Facebook post here dated 28th October. See, Stecia: in just one  paragraph, you embarrassed FACO (mentioned company that hired you to ENDORSE their body enhancement product), yourself, your fans and frankly speaking the entire branding industry of this country.

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Politicians at Funerals

October 6, 2015
Edna Ninsiima
32 Comments

I’m on my way back to Kampala from Mitooma. Just buried another one of my grandmothers. Those amazing women with whom I had beautiful friendships, the ones that raised my amazing folks, are both gone. I foresee those December journeys to the village not being as exciting anymore. This year alone I’ve been there twice for burials so I highly doubt anyone will want to go anyway. Life, right? When people see you crying and come to you to sympathize (bless those good people that mean so well), they always go with the, “be strong(s)” and the “she has rested(s)” and you want to listen but in the moment it just induces more sadness. Is it just me? Oh well, I am also kinda weird so there’s that.

So why am I here writing about this stuff (read: whining) anyway which that’s probably going to put me a sombre mood—- oh wait, my mood is already that, hehe.  Was scrolling up and down my Twitter timeline just minutes ago when I saw a rather interesting post by Bernard (@beewol) ,

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and guess who writes and needs to express themselves now? So here we are. Good news is grandma indeed rested. Respectable ceremony, a mammoth crowd from all over the country came to pay their last respects and comfort the whole family. Everything was going great until one Member of Parliament who was handed the microphone spent almost an hour spewing propaganda.  On this note, before I even continue I’m going to ask my first ever “last wish” and here it is,  when I pass on, DO NOT give a Ugandan politician(unless they’re my family) the microphone to speak. Enough is enough. It has not happened once or just twice at burials I’ve been too, I’ve heard stories from other people as well. What kind of demon possesses one to stand at a burial and start by expressing their 2016 election wishes? Why are we so disrespectful? Why do we even allow these things to go on? I don’t care if you’re POTUS, if you’re at somebody’s burial, for once, think about their family, say a prayer, commiserate with them, do not open your selfish mouth and start shaming your political enemies or seeking a re-election. You have all the time in the world to do that during your political campaigns. Not even your big cheque of mabugo gives you the right. The next time I am at a burial and this happens (God forbid) I just might be infuriated enough to walk up to one of these people, grab the microphone from them and ask them to take a back seat. Please politicians, stop this. It is awfully disrespectful, it is utterly selfish and just not cool. OK? OK good people? Alright. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Stay Blessed. Stay Respectful.

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Copyright, 2016